Blu'. Bright. Vine.
These pictures are special because they remind me of my stepfather. He told me about these beauties. How sweet of him to know I much I would appreciate capturing these beautiful berries.
My thoughts or beliefs on life are a mix between “everything is already planned by God so stop stressing” and “create the life you want by speaking that life into existence”. My stepfather is the manifestation of that thought process. The timing of when he came into my life was so specific to my prayers that I was scared.
As I discussed in UNTITLED.UNMASTERED, I decided to try God for myself when I was in college. In my nightly prayers, I asked God to send my mom a husband that will love her properly etc... One night she told me she met a guy and she wanted me to meet him…. He & I instantly clicked, but this man talked my head slam off. If you know me, you know I can talk for hours without taking a breath, but this man beat that record – he was built different. All I could think was “how is my mama cool with all this talking? my mama is chill and quiet, this ain’t gonna last”. Lol.
But I was wrong, and I knew I was wrong. Mom has this certain look on face when she's filled with happy emotions; it’s so hilarious to me because she be trying to conceal it. She had that look on her face the entire time he was talking. Fast forward to them falling in love and getting married and him becoming my stepfather. During this time in college, I was learning about traumas and emotional triggers. My stepfather marrying mom and me spending weekends with them was everything the hurt little me wanted. I was in a home with mom and dad, I have siblings, and my mom has someone who is completely smitten with her existence and constantly reminds her of his love for her.
While I was happy my mom was married and I had a great relationship with my stepfather, I was angry my relationship with my biological dad wasn’t as strong. The adult me was angry. Because of this, I was hesitant to fully accept my stepfather’s love for me. He treats me like I’m his biological daughter that’s always been around. For this reason, I decided to call him Pops. Because of my daddy issues, I didn’t want to call my stepfather “dad” and be reminded of my biological dad. I’ll save those details for tomorrow’s blog post though; this post is about Pops.
So, when I saw the berries Pops was so eager for me to capture, I was given more of a reminder than a life lesson. The reminder is about the berries, but it can go for the trees, myself, Pops, and everything else under the sun. God created everything to come to pass when He wanted it to happen, and even though I don’t understand it, I have to accept it. I’m so grateful to have Pops in mom and I’s life. I sleep well knowing my mom has a partner that loves her unconditionally and will do anything for her. I'm grateful to have a stepfather that loves me unconditionally and supports my interest with nature and nature photography. The hurt little me healed a little bit when Pops came into mom & I's life.
Ecclesiastes 11:5 (GNB) – (5) God made everything, and you can no more understand what he does than you understand how new life begins in the womb of a pregnant woman.
· God’s creations are perfection.
How I Apply it to My Life:
· I’m just appreciative of God’s creations and timing.
· SZA – Good Days
Just because Pop’s loves SZA’s music.